Sue Decaro: Dr. Nandi has partnered with the Ministry of Health in Jamaica and India, and collaborated with the World Health Organization. Dr. Nandi delivers passionate and inspiring talks to diverse audiences. He continues to travel to international conferences and symposia meeting with global health leaders on his quest to improve health care quality, access, and advocacy to empower the world in his mission to be your own health hero.
Sue Decaro: Kali Nandi is a mom, wife, producer, spiritual seeker, yoga doer, dance lover, and a work-in-progress. Aren’t we all? She’s co-creator and executive producer of the Emmy Award winning television show Ask Dr. Nandi. She is married to and co-creator of the show with Dr. Partha Nandi, who is the show’s host. They have three children. Kali obtained her Bachelor’s degree in nursing from St. Mary’s College in Notre Dame, Indiana. She is very passionate about empowerment and advocacy to achieve health and wellness for the entire family.
Sue Decaro: Wow, you guys are very busy people.
Dr Partha Nandi: Keeps us out of trouble.
Sue Decaro: I’m a little exhausted.
Kali Nandi: We’ll never be bored. We’ll never be bored with this guy in our lives. He has dreams for days and goals for days and vision for days. So it’s a very exciting life. I’ll be honest with you there, it’s a very exciting life. But thank you so much for having us on.
Dr Partha Nandi: Yeah, really. It’s really our pleasure.
Sue Decaro: We’re delighted.
Sue Decaro: So, to start off, Partha, not only are you a medical doctor, but also a host of this television show, this fabulous talk show combining medical advice with informational conversations about fitness and nutrition. Can you tell us a little bit, both of you, how you started the show, and how it became so popular?
Dr Partha Nandi: So I’ll tell you know when I was … There is two events in my life that really made it really possible for me to understand the importance of advocacy and what we call being your own health hero. That goes to Kali. When I was six years old, I was sick with a disease called Rheumatic Fever. Almost lost my life. And at that time, my biggest health hero, my advocate who left everything was my father. My father was a brilliant man. Probably three people in the country at that time did what he did. And what he said was at that time it didn’t matter. I’m dropping everything to help my son. And my mom, who basically went through every single tool she could find to get me better. And a physician who really, to me, took me with his hands and his knowledge, and gave me my life back. Because if it wasn’t for those folks, I would really not have a life that I have today. So, that event shaped me to doing what I’m doing now, which is medicine.
Dr Partha Nandi: Then, after I was in medical practice, my father, the same gentleman who really saved my life along with my physician, Dr. Chandrasekhar, had a devastating stroke. And what happened was, all of a sudden I changed from somebody who was delivering care, to now becoming the caregiver, and being the patient advocate. And I learned a tremendous amount, being in that role. And what I learned is that being a health advocate, being a health hero for yourself and your family is just tremendously important.
Dr Partha Nandi: To give you an example, I was on the hospital floor advocating my dad, who couldn’t speak at the time, advocating for him not to get the wrong medicine, to get treated for infections that I thought he needed. And there was some resistance there. And I can just imagine what it’s like for people who don’t know what to do and how to advocate.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we decided we would do something to help with that advocacy. And that’s how Ask Dr. Nandi was born. It’s an idea where we want to give people the tools that they need to live a better life. So whether it be in sickness or in health. So if you’re someone’s who’s in great shape and doing well, great. We want you to stay that way. We want to give you tools in what, in purpose, tools in spirituality, tools in movement, movement with purpose, as well as nutrition. And then, go to what I think is a crisis in America, which is that we don’t have a family unit. We’re losing that sense of community. We call that tribe. So those five pillars of living a purposeful life, that spirituality, having a tribe, and using nutrition and movement to really fuel you.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we said we’re gonna use these principles to really help our listener and our viewers to live better lives. And then we created this television show. And I talked to Kali about it and what’s really inspiring is that if it wasn’t for this amazing woman next to me, couldn’t have done it. Because you know, one plus one, they teach you that in elementary school, is two. But one plus one is really equal to four for us. Because our strengths compliment each other. Our weaknesses compliment each other. It’s great. Listen, I’m not saying we don’t ever argue or we don’t ever fight. [inaudible 00:05:59] But we have something that’s incredibly solid, which is mutual respect. You know, when you have respect, you can get through disagreements, because you know that the person has value. It doesn’t mean that you always will agree. But you respect their opinion.
Kali Nandi: And I think even when we do disagree, I don’t think we really go below the belt with our comments. I mean, are our comments always perfect? Probably not. But I don’t think that they’re as evil spirited as I know people can get. And I get it. It’s no judgment. It’s just, I have such a respect for him. And I think we just speak to each other in a different way because of that mutual respect. And I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone believe in me as much as Partha believes in me. And I think he saw things that I was capable of … I always cry when we talk about this stuff … that I didn’t know I was capable of. But when you have someone that you believe in so much, the sky’s really the limit. There’s just so much I want to do to make sure he reaches more people. So that really inspiring.
Kali Nandi: And that’s why we did the show. He would be talking about illnesses in such a passionate way, and in such layman’s terms, and at such length with people that he didn’t have to spend this time or his words to educate them. And I though, “I just feel like more people need to know this.” And then we met our producer that said the same thing. We were at a dinner party, and he was like, “You know what? I just kind of feel like people don’t know that. They don’t know that they’re gonna be treated different by the way they look or what kind of insurance they have. Or when they go in the hospital, people treat you different based on a myriad of things because of the way we are just human designed, that people are gonna treat you different if they’re paid on salary versus if they’re paid by the hospital. And understanding that process helps you manage your healthcare even better. So those were the kinds of concepts that started in the beginning. We thought, “I think more people could use this information to live longer, healthier, stronger, happier lives.” And less nursing home years, let’s say.
Dr Partha Nandi: And you know, what happens is that I’m still a full time practicing physician, so during the day I’m still doing quote, unquote my day job. But what we do is we have meetings early in the morning and late at night. And what happens is because I’ve got a partner that really understands and has that same sense of empowerment, we can accomplish a lot. In a few short years we now reach 85 million homes in the US. We reach 90 countries outside the US. It wasn’t accidental. We used one guiding principle. It’s pretty simple. It’s tell the truth almost always. It’s harder to remember what you’re saying when you’re lying. It’s really easy to remember it if you’re saying the same thing again and again. And as we’ve said, what we say to each other is what we tell the audience. And so, I think there’s something to that, where people understand and it resonates with them.
Kali Nandi: I think what you’re saying is that we practice what we preach.
Dr Partha Nandi: We do.
Kali Nandi: And sometimes it’s not easy.
Dr Partha Nandi: We do, but a lot of times you meet people that just say things because the fact that it’s status quo, and it’s supposed to be. We really try to live … And we’re not perfect. We try to live the same way as she said.
Kali Nandi: We try to live organic. We try to be mindful. We try to move naturally. You know, all of those things. I don’t think anyone’s ever perfect. But those kinds of things. If we’re gonna go out and tell people those things, we try to live that way as well.
Dr Partha Nandi: And people ask us, “If I wanted to make a show, what would I have to do?” And I say, “You really have to find your passion.” It’s not about do A, B, C, D, and then this will happen. It’s not that. You gotta find your passion. Like both of you are. This is something that you’re passionate about. You know, you’re spending your valuable time that you have, you could be doing anything else, but what are you doing? You’re educating people, so that they will understand what you’re talking about. And so you don’t have to make up a story. It is what you are. So I think that is part of our … You were asking how we got started and how we’ve expanded. That’s really it. But this partnership of two people that have really got each other’s back and understand what the goal and purpose is, is really important. When we get out of bed, almost always we jump out of bed, because we know the day ahead will really bring solutions to people. So that’s kind of what our show’s about.
Dr Partha Nandi: And then same thing with our social media, our digital media. I have a book coming out in September.
Kali Nandi: Our charity.
Dr Partha Nandi: And our charity. All of it is same direction, which is really cool. To be married to someone who shares your life passion, and is your partner, not only for your family, but for your life, is just enthralling. And it is a blessing a lot of people don’t have. And I feel super blessed …
Kali Nandi: Yeah, same.
Dr Partha Nandi: … to be with somebody this talented and also this passionate.
Kali Nandi: We would really never see each other if we didn’t work together, because he works a lot
Sue Decaro: [inaudible 00:10:58]
Kali Nandi: That’s right. Partha wanted to go into cardiothoracic surgery, which if you don’t know, surgeons are on call. It’s always emergency surgeries. Cardiology is a tough field, cardiac surgery. And he decided not to go into that, because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to be the husband and father that he wanted to be. So I’m grateful for that, because he gets off on work. He gets off on helping people, connecting with people, talking with people. And that’s what he gets to do all day long.
Dr Partha Nandi: I mean, the idea is that we … I tell my kids that, “If you can change the life of one person in your lifetime, your life is worthwhile.” And if we can do that, that’s what drives. A lot of times people are worried about how big their house could be, and how many more cars you can get. It’s really not about that. It’s the influence you can make on this planet. Cause as you know, I don’t have to tell you, there’s so much negativity. And if we can flip the switch and really get some positivity in health and wellness, and then expand it, it’s tremendous. So that’s why I think that when she says I work a lot, it’s because of the fact that I’m passionate about it. Because I think it’s a great opportunity. What a blessing it is to be able to help. So that’s what started our show and continues on every day.
Kali Nandi: Can I tell one more story?
Sue Decaro: Of course.
Kali Nandi: I talk too much.
Kali Nandi: Well, we get a ton of calls … We actually tell people, people we know, “If you need something …” You’re like “Crap, my son, my daughter, my husband, my mom is in the hospital.” We would tell you, “Please text us. Let us see, maybe you can run something by Partha.” A lot of times just having someone, even if he doesn’t see them as a patient, he can say, “Okay, let’s think about these labs,” or “I’ll give you my opinion on whether or not I think your physician is doing the right thing,” or “I’ll give you some questions you might want to ask or think about.”
Kali Nandi: So we do that a lot. So we get a lot of calls. We get a lot of texts, a lot of calls from people saying, “Hey, can Doctor Nandi talk about this or that?” And I’m always amazed, cause I run out of words in the day, I get tired. And I’m like, “I’m done. I’m done in the day. I cannot handle one more thing.” But he really can. It is incredible. It is incredible. We’ve been married now, it’ll be six years. We’ve been together nine. It is incredible the amount of things he can handle in a day.
Kali Nandi: And it might be 10 o’clock at night, and I’ll be like, “Hey, my sister’s cousin’s brother’s nephew, they’ve got someone, they’ve got some medical something or other.” He’ll say, “No problem. What’s the number? I’ll give them a call.” He’s never, even to me go, “Oh, that’s so annoying. Oh, let me get to it later.” Because what he says is that it’s a real privilege.
Kali Nandi: And you know how that feels when someone asks your help? They’re like, “Wow, can you help me? I wanna run something by you. I really need you right now.” That feeling of being able to help someone. That’s the only thing I can equate it to. If my mom or sister or brother called me and said, “Kali, I really need your help right now.” I would drop everything. So, that’s the only thing I can equate it to. And he really does feel like it’s a total privilege for him to have that knowledge and be able to share it with someone that’s in a time of need.
Dr Partha Nandi: And it’s a taught skill. I learned from my parents. My mom and dad always taught me that. My mom told me college stories of my grandpa, who was a physician as well, what he did for people. That background that I had really helped me. So I was born in India. And I immigrated to the United States at age nine. And so to me, some of the things we talk about on our show, which is spirituality, mindfulness, prayer, and yoga, was a way of life for me. I was young, but I was old enough to remember kind of what a billion people do. So to me, it wasn’t this new age thing, it was just what people did. And then as I grew older and I realized western culture, I said, “This is kind of cool.”
Dr Partha Nandi: And why that’s important is that at my practice today and on our show, we talk about stuff that I saw everyday. I saw my parents pray every day. That way spirituality and mindfulness, it wasn’t something that was, “Oh, you know, let’s be spiritual today.” It wasn’t that, it was just a way of life. You just are spiritual. And I learned from a very young age that I was a small part of the universe. I was very important, and I was loved. But I was not the thing.
Kali Nandi: The world did not revolve around you.
Dr Partha Nandi: And that it’s all about me. Really I’m a part of the universe, and really I can help to make I better. I was told that at a young age. And that is influential in what we do today. And that, I cannot tell you … My dad and his work ethic, my dad worked tirelessly to make sure we had everything we did. And that work ethic I always saw that he was always, always, always helping his family. And he was always present. And that’s why, I’m not perfect by any means, but we always try to be present for our kids and our family. Because you can’t do it from a distance. You just can’t. You could try. Obviously if you don’t have a choice, you could FaceTime someone or do a Google Hangout or Skype. But it’s not the same thing, right? The look in the eye, the touch, anything I ever did, my dad was always out there. I have no idea how he did it. But he was always there. I looked out there and he was always there.
Dr Partha Nandi: And that’s what I promised myself. She told you the story, that I left cardiothoracic surgery because I knew I wouldn’t be there. But what was also important to me was to me, charity starts at home. Charity starts with your own family. If you help everybody else, but your own family doesn’t know you, that’s just not right. So we try to practice that.
Dr Partha Nandi: And it comes back to my parents. It’s so important that this is your life’s work is that being a parent is so critical that if you set a great example … I remember the stuff my mom told me when I was five, six, seven years of age, when she thought I wasn’t even listening. And so the story I always is that despite your best efforts, you become your parents. Despite your best efforts. No matter what you say, you kind of become your parents. And you think you kind of … But you realize what they say.
Dr Partha Nandi: So I think that for parents who are watching out there, just keep doing it and be present, because the lessons they learn, at least for me and many, many of my friends, and Kali too, as she’ll tell you, really stick with you. And your parents were very influential in your life, right?
Kali Nandi: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Dr Partha Nandi: Her mom … Tell them about the … Your mom, she always was a fitness and nutrition expert.
Kali Nandi: My mom and dad worked out every day of their life. So fitness and nutrition was a huge part of my growing up. My mother, even though it was the 80s and she was low-fat everything, that’s what everybody did. At least she was very conscious of what we put in our mouths and I remember her … We didn’t drink pop, we didn’t have desserts very often. Like I said, they work out every day of their lives. They’re 65 now and they are …
Dr Partha Nandi: Nobody would say that, looking at them.
Kali Nandi: No. I mean, they are great looking people. My dad has a six pack, my mom is very well put together. She has an incredible aura about her. She has a great presence. So I learned a lot about taking care of your body from my parents.
Dr Partha Nandi: And you know, the thing that she would tell me is that every day after school, Kali and her mom would sit down and she would watch a show with her. They would chop vegetables or do something. And it was those memories, even though they were common [crosstalk 00:18:32].
Kali Nandi: We would watch talk shows. We’d watch Oprah. We’d talk about topics, big deep topics a lot. I mean, at that time Oprah was really getting into topics that mattered. And so we would have these great conversations. And my mom would teach me how to cook. So we would cook and chat after school.
Dr Partha Nandi: And chopping onions, chopping vegetables. And this is something people think that you have to make this quality time. And then they’re like searching for the quality moment. You can grocery shop. You can grocery shop and make good quality time.
Dr Partha Nandi: I remember one of my technicians, she had a very difficult marriage and she said, I was talking to her …. and I won’t mention her name, but I’ve talked to you about her. And what she said was, “One of the best times was grocery shopping as my mom was singing all throughout the grocery store.” She was like, “She was a big Motown fan.” And they’re going to the grocery store. Quality time. And people don’t understand. Quality time is just time that you spend being present with your kids. They don’t care what you do. They don’t only want … It’s like, “Okay, this is now quality time, this is non-quality time.” You’re chopping vegetables. And it was important enough that she told me, how many? 20, 25 years later, telling me that this is important. But that’s how you form relationships.
Dr Partha Nandi: And the basis of what she does today and what I do today is in no small part because of all the work that our parents did. And that’s to me, a crisis in our nation. And I’m glad you do the work you’re doing, because without the family unit, you don’t have your tribe. And without the tribe, you really are lost. You’re kind of like a little boat in an ocean, as big as the Pacific, because you wander wherever the direction of the wave. And the wave could be by social media, it could be your current group of friends, or whatever the trend is. When you have parents that give you a firm basis of what’s going on, you’re rooted. So you know what? When a wave comes, you’re like, “You know what? My feet …”
Kali Nandi: If you get a hole in the boat, you’ve got some people to help you. I mean, that’s the thing. You can move, nothing wrong with moving and doing all this great stuff and being a wanderer of the world. That’s fantastic of course. But you always have to keep … It’s a tough life being alone when your boat has a hole. It’s a tough way to go.
Dr Partha Nandi: But parents and parenting, most important job in the world. And again, we all know, the four of us that are here, it’s easier said than done, right? So there’s situations when your kid is just screaming and there really doesn’t seem to be a good reason. But you have to hang on and realize that moment shapes. How you behave is how they remember how they are to behave when they’re stressed. If you lose it and start cursing and going insane, guess what they’re gonna do? The same thing. And it’s no accident that you have parents … It’s not 100% clear, but parents that do a great job in raising kids have great kids. So again, the point being that when you’re parents, and even if you’re doing other great things, you have to remember the examples you set to these folks, to these little people, really make an impact on their entire lives.
Kali Nandi: And I bet you guys have a lot of stories and experience with all of that. So I’m sure you have a lot of stories.
Erin Taylor: Yes. Tons of stories.
Kali Nandi: I feel like we’ve monopolized a little bit of time.
Erin Taylor: Oh no. We could listen to you guys for hours. I’m sorry to say this like this, but you guys are so darn cute together.
Sue Decaro: I agree. And fun.
Kali Nandi: We have a lot of fun.
Dr Partha Nandi: You guys are darn cute too.
Kali Nandi: Well I’ll tell you, when I get [inaudible 00:22:13] I get flustered. I get flustered and I get overstimulated. I get where like the kids are running around and the phone rings, and my 13 year old will have music and be like, “Mom, do you like this shirt?” And I’m just like, “Okay, I need to take a second. There’s so many things coming at me.” And Partha will just start, you know he’ll turn off the one radio, he’ll take one of the boys and he’ll just kind of start singing. And he lightens the mood right away, cause usually it only takes me a couple seconds to get over it. I take a couple seconds and I’m like, “Okay.”
Kali Nandi: And one of his favorite songs is Trailers for sale or rent. Rooms to let fifty cents.
Dr Partha Nandi: Rooms to let fifty cents.
Kali Nandi: Which is a totally old school song. And I’d actually never heard it before I met him. And although he’s a huge hip hop lover, for whatever reason, that’s the song that brings the whole situation down.
Dr Partha Nandi: Centers, it’s my breathing, you know? So, my nurses know when I’m singing that, that we’re just trying to calm the place down. But she does a great job. She’s probably over stating the fact. But all of us get there. And it’s just a matter of if you’re willing to admit it or not. But the key is how you then react and how you then adjust the situation. What you do really affects what they do. I really believe that. And if you are calm, and you can say, “Listen,” talk with them rationally, or diffuse it with whatever, that’s what they’ll learn. But you know, we are having a blast with our kids, because to me, they tell me …
Dr Partha Nandi: And I was saying this off camera before, that in our society it seems the very young and the very old are just left kind of out to pasture, because the very young and the very old inconvenience our very important, busy lives. And so we would rather not deal with the little ones, cause they don’t make sense, and the older ones cause give too much time. The thing is, the older folks can give you so much perspective, right? They can teach you, cause they’ve been where you have been. And they can teach you so much in your life. So, ignoring them and not making them part of your life is a tragedy. And that affects them in a negative way. The younger people to me, our kids always give me perspective and let me know that this is what it’s all about, at the end of the day.
Kali Nandi: They sure keep you grounded. That’s for sure.
Dr Partha Nandi: But they tell you when it’s important, because when you look … I was telling you yesterday, to be three again. Cause they walk around, and you have a little car and whatever else.
Kali Nandi: We just got some beautiful artwork.
Dr Partha Nandi: See what I’m talking about. This is what it’s all about, right?
Sue Decaro: That is.
Dr Partha Nandi: This masterpiece is what it’s all about.
Kali Nandi: Look at this.
Dr Partha Nandi: It’s not about how many likes you get on Instagram or whoever knows what the heck is going on. But this is the real stuff. So that’s what keeps us going. It’s awesome.
Kali Nandi: Oh that’s cool.
Sue Decaro: Beautiful.
Dr Partha Nandi: This is what keeps … I’m telling you, she sends me pictures of the cows at work and it just melts my heart. Because you know also that you’re not … The other thing is that, to be present is that you know you’re never gonna get that moment back. Right? It just doesn’t wait for you. And you have that opportunity to shape lives. But also you have an opportunity to enjoy all the wisdom they give you. And it runs out. If you blow it, it’s just gone. You don’t get that back.
Kali Nandi: I think another big piece of what makes … You were talking about when you were young, and the things that your dad did for you, and Partha’s dad has been ill for the last few years. And he had a stroke a couple years ago. We do live two doors down from his family. And we help take care of them. But his sister, she really is an incredible, incredible human being. She has given up everything in her life. And she takes full care of both of his parents. I mean, we live two doors down, but it’s not the same. We do help. We are there every day. We’re there multiple times a day.
Dr Partha Nandi: She was just there an hour ago.
Kali Nandi: Yeah, we’re there multiple times a day.
Dr Partha Nandi: This is the kind of partner I have. She was there just an hour ago helping, because …
Kali Nandi: I go twice a day, and he goes twice a day. But it’s no where near the sacrifices that she has made. And she’s just been a huge inspiration to me. And their family has really taught me … My family is incredible, of course. They do everything you’re supposed to do for our elderly and my grandparents, my great-grandparents. They’re lovely. But the amount of sacrifice that his family has made to take care of his father is nothing short of incredible. I mean, it is unbelievable. And he actually was in the hospital just a few weeks ago. And the doctor that saw him had seen him eight years prior, and said, “It is shocking to me that he’s still with us. And there is absolutely no other reason, other than you and your sister.” So I did want to compliment you and of course her, for … It’s incredible, what they do. The time it takes to try to feed his dad, and she is tireless. I mean, I don’t know a lot of people that would do it.
Dr Partha Nandi: It’s what you do though. It’s how we were raised. It’s again, it’s remembering that my parents were always there for us and would do anything possible to make our lives better. [crosstalk 00:27:34]
Kali Nandi: And not to generalize too much, but it is an incredible also Indian philosophy, it’s an Eastern philosophy. I think, of Eastern philosophy, your family is really high up there. I mean, I really do believe that. But it is definitely a different mentality than a lot of Western philosophies.
Dr Partha Nandi: But it’s pretty much human nature. You kind of do what you’re taught. And what I was taught was that my sister and I were the most important part of their lives. No doubt about it. So when that happened, I spent, the first year that my dad was in the hospital in therapy, I was there every day in the hospital with him. And that’s what you do. So I think that again, the basic point is that you reap what you sow. You gotta be there. You gotta be present. And your kids will benefit. And you will thrive because of it. No doubt about it. I’m selfish as the next guy. I think that I get so many benefits from watching my kids thrive and do well, because it’s what we do.
Erin Taylor: That’s incredible. I was just talking with a friend the other day, and she just started working as a therapist with geriatric patients in nursing homes. And she was telling me how terrible it is in the environment that she works in. She loves working with the elderly and really helping them work through whatever troubles they’re facing or anything that’s coming up for them. But she said it’s terrible. It’s like these people, their families have just forgotten about them. They just don’t even remember they exist. And I obviously don’t know the people that she’s referring to, the elderly people, but I think that what you guys are saying about your parents were.
Erin Taylor: And since, Partha, we’ll talk about your dad since he needs very intensive regular care right now. Because he was so present for you, and family was so important to him, he was always there and he made you a priority. And then it’s kind of like a full circle moment. And when it comes back to where he needs the care, come back and make him the priority. And as I think about parenting and how busy parents are, and how hard it is to juggle everything, I think that sometimes parents get a little bit, they miss the real point. They work so hard to make so much money so that they can give their kids the elite soccer team and the violin lessons and the piano lessons and private tutors and whatever, whatever. But really what their child wants is their attention and their presence.
Dr Partha Nandi: And their time.
Erin Taylor: If parents could, the more parents we get to realize that, the ripple effect of that across a lifespan is incredible, because then when those parents, just like your dad, when those parents get to the full circle, nearing the completion of their lives, then their kids will hopefully do exactly as you’re doing with your dad, and putting them as the priority. And then it’s like a beautiful circle of life that happens.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we, when we go and help my dad, our kids go with us. They see it. They see what we do. They don’t see us abandoning our father because of the fact that it’s just inconvenient. They see us say, “You know what, it’s important.” And then, that’s what we do. The important point you made there was about the nursing homes and the care that people get. It’s not just your friend, it’s universal. The care may be good or bad, but families tend to forget.
Dr Partha Nandi: And it’s a symptom of our society. It’s not, to me, the root problem. It’s the symptom. So I think that our nation is the greatest nation on Earth. But what we value more than anything else is independence, and the self. And that’s great, but it should come as a balance. And what happens is that the individual is valued more than the family. Your individual accomplishment, your individual pleasure is put above the collective pleasure of the family. It’s developed over time.
Dr Partha Nandi: A story I’ll tell you though. When my dad was in the rehab place, when he was finished with his hospitalization, he was in the rehab unit. And I was sitting there with my dad. It was social hour, and they had a Dean Martin song that came out and said, “When the moon hits the sky.” And man, the entire place completely emptied out, dance floor. It was like they were teenagers again. The whole was jamming. I’m serious, the whole place emptied out. “When the moon hits the sky.” There was singing. I’m doing my best Dean Martin. My dad, I use it to kind of get him motivated. And I said, “Hello,” to this woman. I said, “Hello, how are you?” She did a 360. And she said, “Are you, you’re saying hello to me? Nobody says hello to me.” It was so sad.
Dr Partha Nandi: But it’s just what happens in these places. People drop them off, don’t even ever come back again, because it’s like, “I don’t see you. You’re over there and somebody’s taking care of you. I’m done. My responsibility is done.” I think what we have to show, from an early age, is what you’re saying. And that beautiful cycle and circle of life continues. Like, when we take our kids and they see what we do with our dad, it’s not gonna be a shock for them.
Kali Nandi: And folks live there five, ten years. I mean, that’s a long, lonely time.
Dr Partha Nandi: Well the thing is, we take our kids, when we’re with my dad, so they see what we do.
Kali Nandi: Yeah, well we don’t get sitters. We have a lot of different events and stuff. Of course we get sitters. But we don’t get sitters for just any old reason. We really don’t.
Dr Partha Nandi: And they see us cleaning my dad. I don’t want to get graphic, but we have to help him get up. And they see, they’re over on the other side, looking at his face, but they see us doing it. And they go, “Oh, that’s what you’re supposed to do.” That’s normalcy for them. Your kids and your grandkids help your parents. And that will be passed on again to their kids. And we have to really pass on what is important and what we can do in our family. And what the expectations are. And it doesn’t always have to be easy.
Dr Partha Nandi: That’s the other thing is that we really have to have our expectations higher than we have for our kids, is that they have to also reciprocate. It’s a two way street.
Dr Partha Nandi: Your kids can’t say, “Sup?” and walk out into their bedroom and not even converse with you. Because if that happens, as a human being you have a parent that’s really trying and committed, the kid’s like, “Sup? I’m out.” And if you ask them, “Hey, what’s going on?” “Oh, nothing.” And, “How was your day?” “Good.”
Kali Nandi: That doesn’t fly at our house. Oh yeah, our 13 year old, Charley, she’s had to …
Dr Partha Nandi: She changed a bit.
Kali Nandi: She did. She’s changed quite a bit.
Dr Partha Nandi: You can’t give one word answers at our house. Even if you have to lie about it.
Kali Nandi: You have to sit at the table, you have to sit up. You have to keep your feet straight. You have to engage. We say, “Engage the family. Engage.”
Dr Partha Nandi: And it’s not her fault, right? Everybody around her …
Kali Nandi: All her friends.
Dr Partha Nandi: … is, “What’s up? Sup? Sup?”
Kali Nandi: Not all her friends. They’re really nice girls.
Dr Partha Nandi: I mean, most of the class. We went there and I said, “This is an epidemic.” Everybody’s like, “Huh. Huh. Huh.” I mean, they’re just one word answers, looking at their phones.
Kali Nandi: We also make forced family fun at our house. You have to do stuff together.
Dr Partha Nandi: Because once you start going, the momentum takes over. Then you realize, by accident, this is actually a good time. So [inaudible 00:35:35].
Dr Partha Nandi: But the key is that they’ll remember that. They’ll remember the stuff that you did, and then remember fun. They’ll then do the same thing with their kids. So we are the biggest role model. What people say is we’re the biggest role model, as parents, for kids. And we can really put them in the right direction. And also the wrong direction.
Dr Partha Nandi: So I wish there was a class on parenting that was required before you had children, because it’s really a tough job. And you really need to have your mindset. One of the things we talk about in being your own health hero is that a healthy mindset, a mindset that’s filled with purpose, a mindset that says, “You know what? I have a goal driven life.” And if you have that then you can do every job well, including taking care of your kids. But until your mind is there, and if you’re not happy with your life, for sure you’re not gonna be happy with your kids. So that’s also important. You gotta be able to understand who you are and take the time to get yourself straight in order to make other people better.
Sue Decaro: Well, I think what you’ve said just resonates I’m sure, with Erin as well. But certainly with me. And it’s a full circle. It is really a full circle. And in today’s day and age, and the work that we’re doing in this world, there’s so much disconnection from parent to child. And it’s no wonder we’re leaving the elderly, because we’re leaving the children too. So it’s kind of a disconnect on both ends. And we hope, with the work that we’re doing in the world, with all the people, our tribe so to speak, all over the world that is really committed to this mission, that we’ll be bringing change about, in a full circle. Exactly as how you described, that it has to start with the parent. And it has to start with the parent connecting deeply with the child. And then obviously you can see some sort of change as the parent gets older, in that connection coming back around.
Dr Partha Nandi: And you can’t fake it. Because kids will know it, if you’re trying to fake it and you don’t care about them. When you give them signs that they are an inconvenient part of your life, they get it. [crosstalk 00:37:45]
Kali Nandi: You have to find things that you enjoy doing. I remember when Charley was young, it was like, “Oh, playing Barbies is not my favorite thing to do.” But I thought, “Well, if I just sit here, she’s gonna tell me what to do anyway. So I’m just gonna sit here and hold it. And I’m being part of it. And I’m listening.” And if I did something wrong, she would tell me. And with the boys, I try to do other little things, like playing tennis or we love Legos. They’re like three D puzzles for me. So we kind of do those things together. But playing race cars, that’s not as much my favorite.
Kali Nandi: But you have to will yourself. You kind of have to get in the moment and do the things they like to do. Listen, it’s not always easy. Sometimes I’m like, “I really have a million other things I should be doing right now.” And so I have to put it in perspective. I don’t want my kids to always think, “Mommy was always on the computer.” Or “Mommy was always on the phone.” Believe me, there’s times that that happens. And I try to really set aside time that all of that stuff is off, so that I can be present.
Kali Nandi: Because the life is full. And it’s busy. And he’s busy. And our business ifs busy. And then we’re going next door. And then we’ve got the 13 year old that we’re running things to. So it is definitely … There’s times you’re tired. You just gotta make it happen.
Dr Partha Nandi: [crosstalk 00:39:02] But the thing is, the times we’re there, we’re present. And we make it count. We don’t do monumental things sometimes. That’s great stuff. We take them to great places. But a lot of times it’s very simplistic things.
Kali Nandi: Sometimes it’s pajamas on Saturday.
Dr Partha Nandi: We are present. She read three books last night. Three books about the do’s and don’ts. A striped giraffe or a striped zebra should wear striped underwear, should not wear polka dot underwear. Really, right? The idea is that again, just present. The kids were all [inaudible 00:39:40]. We’re both on both sides. I’m over there.
Kali Nandi: We read books every night.
Dr Partha Nandi: And it’s not just the fact that we check the box off for reading books, you’re there and you’re giving them your attention. And they know that you think it’s important. It doesn’t matter what you do. You could be climbing the wall, be in Mount Everest, it doesn’t matter. For them it’s that their biologic tribe member is right there who cares about them. And they will remember that. And that’s what’s gonna create health and wellness.
Dr Partha Nandi: Talk about health and wellness, kids that have that kind of spirituality, and that kind of upbringing, do better. They have less obesity, less high blood pressure, less heart disease. It’s all proven. And so it’s not just an academic thing, “Oh it’s kind of cool, duh, duh, duh.” It really leads to not only good stuff up here, but the rest of your body. The immune system is stronger. They live happier lives, stress free lives. So it’s such an important thing, a small thing like what we do at bedtime may really impact them. And that’s the thing.
Dr Partha Nandi: One of the things we talk about on Ask Dr. Nandi, is that make small changes in your life that result in big, big, big, big results in other parts of your or your family’s life. So a small, little change you do … I always said no matter what, I want to go to bed, I want to tuck them in and kind of read to them and make sure I’m there for their bedtime. It’s a small, little thing, right? But it yields big changes. Anybody can do that. If you want to pick another time, like maybe in the morning, whatever, get them dressed, drop off to school. Pick some times if you can’t always be there, and all of us cannot be because we juggle a lot. But when you’re there, make sure it counts, and understand that small, little sacrifice that you’re making can really yield big results.
Dr Partha Nandi: So I really applaud what you guys are doing too, because you’re fighting the good fight, because it’s so easy just to hand them one of these things, right? And one of these things is a phone, and have them play for four hours, cause they will. They will just … Cause we have enough gadgets, enough stuff, you don’t have to do a thing. Or park them in front of the television. Or park them in somewhere else where they’re no longer in your sight. But really the loser is you and the child, because you’re losing on the rich heritage that you could pass on to them, and tools that you could give them. And the pure joy of the interaction you have when somebody really gets it. They get it far better than we do. They understand what’s important. So I think it’s super cool. And it’s not always easy to do, from first blush, but it can really be awesome.
Sue Decaro: You guys are really amazing.
Dr Partha Nandi: Oh, thank you so much.
Kali Nandi: Well he really [inaudible 00:42:26]
Sue Decaro: I have a question, actually. I have one last question, if I could ask. With everything that’s going on in your lives, and you’ve described it so beautifully, and it’s so obvious how committed you are to your family, your entire family, your community, your tribe, as well as everyone else in the world. And I’m curious what you find the most challenging. I know there’s a lot of challenges juggling so many things, and always being present for your children when you’re there. But what would you say, to the audience watching, is the most challenging thing about your lives right now?
Kali Nandi: I’m gonna cry. Just probably getting time alone. Like, we’re going out for New Year’s Eve. But we usually go out every year on New Year’s Eve. We always go to dinner, and we love to dance. The kids spend the night at my parents. So we’re excited about that. Being alone probably … We do a lot of fun stuff together, cause there’s a lot of things in the community that we do. So I don’t want to pretend like we don’t. That’s fun. But being able to do more things for yourself. We don’t get massages. We just really don’t have time in our lives for those kinds of like nails and toes. We just really don’t have time for those kinds of things. So sometimes it’s tough to balance everything. But everything that comes first is so much more important to us that it’s cool. It’s all cool.
Dr Partha Nandi: To me, I feel the same way. Actually two things at the time for me is number one, finding enough time with the family, because you really can get sucked into you’re going to shows and you’re traveling. And you get this whole cycle where you can get sucked into it.
Kali Nandi: And you have to say no.
Dr Partha Nandi: And you have to say no. And I do. I said no to a whole career so I could do more than that. The thing is that finding more time with the whole family, and especially my wife, cause we do try, after the kids go to bed, as much as possible to talk about what’s important and what’s important for our lives and our future, to really get us grounded. Cause she’s my partner in everything, including our lives outside the show. So finding time for that sometimes is challenging.
Dr Partha Nandi: The second most challenging thing …
Kali Nandi: But we also know that that time together for us makes us stronger, which makes us better parents, which just trickles to everything. So we do do it. At night we have lots of great intimate talks. We have lists of things to do for work, but sometimes I’m like, “I gotta tell you what’s on my mind about whatever.”
Dr Partha Nandi: And so I talk to her about it.
Dr Partha Nandi: The second biggest challenge is to, and I do this as a practice every day, is to get centered to realize what it’s all about. Because you do so many things. And you can be like a rat in a maze or hamster in that wheel. And so I think just breathing. I do it … My mom taught me this a long, long time ago. She says, “Son, you know when you’re just going crazy, just take a minute to to breathe.” And when you breathe, and you really breathe, you get that perspective. And you really understand what it is all about. And to me that is so important, because once you get that perspective, you’re good to go. And it’s very difficult sometimes, because there’s so many things going on at the same time. And everything is going on.
Dr Partha Nandi: So those to things are the most challenging things that I find, in that order, finding time with my family and also make sure I have that perspective to see why am I doing all of this and what is it all about. And keeping it centered so that it’s helping.
Kali Nandi: Well said. I don’t really do interviews unless he’s here. Because in case I can’t think of anything, he can always bail me out.
Dr Partha Nandi: She’s awesome. Very, very talented.
Erin Taylor: I have two questions that kind of rattled around in my head while you guys were talking. And they’re kind of both related to what you were just talking about with our final question. I’m wondering, I’m thinking about what a typical day must look like for you guys, and it just makes my head hurt, thinking about it. But Partha, when you have your practice, your medical practice, and you’re making rounds at the hospital, and then you have your TV show, and then you have the news station, and then you have your wife and your family and your dad and your kids and you still have to eat dinner. You still have to sleep at least a couple hours at night. My first question is how do you, and I am certain that you do this, how do you stay present in whatever the thing is at the moment, when you have 500 other things kind of just circling around.
Kali Nandi: It is a gift that he has. It is unbelievable what he can do in the moment. And this is what makes him such a great partner and listener and father and son and doctor, is because he will never you in the moment.
Kali Nandi: So how do you do that? Cause I need to know.
Dr Partha Nandi: There’s a song, Great Mind, Macklemore, have you heard this? I don’t know if you know who Macklemore is, they’re kind of a rap, pop group. And they said 10 thousand hours. And it goes toward a Malcolm Blackwell book called 10000 Hours. And the idea is that you kind of have to do something for 10 thousand hours before you get good at it. So the short answer to your question is, just practice. I practice every single day. And I said that to you, the most challenging thing I do is that to stay grounded and understand why I’m doing that, why I’m doing what I’m doing. And that is part of mindfulness. When you’re grounded and you’re purposeful, then when you can then use mindfulness to connect the dots. And you say it doesn’t really doesn’t matter what’s gonna happen tomorrow, today, what happened before, what’s gonna happen later on. You stay in the moment, because you realize all that you can really change is one thing, right? That moment.
Dr Partha Nandi: Like, I’m talking to you right now, that’s the only thing I can really have control over. Everything else is either going to happen or has happened. Ain’t nothing I can do about that. But I can do something about talking to you and letting you know what I’m talking about, and just being in that moment. And the most difficult thing to do when you’re there is not worry about the consequences. And we know it’s difficult. It’s the most difficult practice of mindfulness, that not putting judgment on it. Not putting judgment on that activity or that experience. And then just saying that it is what it is and that’s all there is to it.
Dr Partha Nandi: And then, practicing it every day makes it almost automatic. So when I see a patient and the phone’s going off, it beeps …
Kali Nandi: And the nurses are knocking. It’s constant.
Dr Partha Nandi: You have to give them your time, because if you don’t, then it’s over. And people say, “Well, you’re a great multi-tasker.” I am. But I’m not. I multi-task, but I do one thing at a time, instead of doing two things at one time. Of course I feel like everybody else. I sometimes do both. But if you do that one thing well at the time that you’re doing it and then move to the next task, studies have shown you’re actually 67% more efficient at doing everything you’re doing. Whereas if you’re trying to do everything at one time, you’re really much, much less efficient. So that’s what I do.
Kali Nandi: Erin, I’m so glad you brought this question up, because I’ll tell you … See you can tell he has a little cold. This like never happens. But he wills himself, I watch him do it. And he never says to me, “I’m gonna will myself to do this.” I see he just wills himself. And so when I know he has a vision or a goal, I know we’re gonna do it. Like the show came because we are gonna be delivering the water in small villages throughout India. We are gonna be building hospitals throughout India. I know that. The reason the show is to get the brand, to get the voice, to get the influence. There’s no meeting we can’t ever get. So I know when he has a goal, it’s achieved. And it’s the same with the way he wills himself to do things.
Kali Nandi: Do you remember when Michael Jordan won that … Remember when he was sick and he played football, not football, he played basketball. And it was the finals, and he was super sick. And he just kept making three point after three point after three point. It was insane. And what he said later was the basket was just huge. It was just giant. And you could see he willed himself to do that.
Kali Nandi: And I see Partha do that. I see when he’s down or ill or not at his best, he just turns it on. And it goes back to one other cute story. When he graduated from high school a month after he turned 16. So he was pretty much 15 when he graduated from high school. And he got an academic scholarship to Ohio State and also to Notre Dame through this program. And his essay to get into school was on empathy. So here he is 15, he’s writing an essay on empathy, and then his interview … Were you sick on that interview? Or was it the test you had to take to get, your SAT or something?
Dr Partha Nandi: No, I was sick. I was ill and I was going in.
Kali Nandi: When he left the interview he said, there was a panel of people that interviewed you. And he said he left the interview and he was like, “I was absolutely helped in there.” There were words and thoughts that, even though I was sick I just busted it out. And I just think there’s something that … When Michael Jordan gave that story and when Partha taps into that, he’s … You’re willing into something, you’re tapping in to something that I wish I could do a little bit more.
Dr Partha Nandi: Well, you do. You’re amazing. But I think it’s the universe. If you’re religious like I am, you say God’s helping you. If you’re not religious, then what happens is that you get back from the universe what you put in it 110%. If you put crap out, you get crap back in. But if you try to, again without trying to be a holier than thou here, but if you try to do the right thing most of the time and try to put things out there that will help the universe, the universe reciprocates almost always. That’s something that can’t be scientifically proven. But I know for a fact that interview she’s talking about, I was 15 years old, there are Deans of every college, 15 of them asking me the most esoteric questions. I didn’t stutter. And I knew when I left there that it really wasn’t just me. And knowing that is also very, very important.
Dr Partha Nandi: There’s a … Isaac Newton said this, that, “If I have seen farther, it’s because I stand on the shoulder of giants.” It’s the humility, knowing that the people that have come before you and the experience that have shaped you really make you who you are. And not saying, “It’s always about me, and I’m the man.” It’s not about that. It’s about saying that it’s a conglomeration of everything that happens that helps you.
Dr Partha Nandi: And that’s the idea. And I think that really plays a role. And being mindful at every moment. We now know scientifically that that helps you get the most out of every single moment, whether you want to be the best parent, best teacher, best athlete. Professional teams have mindfulness practitioners come and teach them. Because the example I give is if you’re pitching in the World Series and it’s the ninth inning, it’s two outs. If you get a strike then the ball game’s over. If you don’t, then you may lose the game. If you start thinking about that when you pitch, guess what’s gonna happen? You are going to not hit a strike.
Dr Partha Nandi: So the idea is that they know that in professional sports. But we know that in life. And if you want to be a great parent, just stay in the moment, not worry about what’s gonna happen later on or how this is gonna affect our children. Just be who you are and be true to yourself. And that’s how I live.
Kali Nandi: And I think he also learned that from his parents. We have a prayer room in our home. We pray morning and night. He grew up doing that. There’s times when the schedule gets crazy that we’ve gotten away from it, and we always feel real guilty, cause Partha was raised that you do not even eat a morsel of food in the morning until you pray. And you don’t eat a morsel of food for dinner until you pray. So I think that’s a big lesson that you learned from your mother, your parents, both of them, of course.
Dr Partha Nandi: It’s just practice. They wanted to do it so we knew that that was important. And what it showed us was again, that we are not the center of the universe, that there’s forces beyond us. And show gratitude to everything that you have, the roof over your head and the food on your table, and the parents that you have, they taught us that. And we try to teach our kids that. If they throw away some food we tell them there are kids all over the world that would die for that kind of food. And knowing that, just hearing that help them understand and be grateful that there are forces beyond themselves.
Dr Partha Nandi: It’s easy to get caught up in that whole world of social media, Instagram. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. But kids get so, “How popular am I?” And “Oh, let me look at myself again.” And “How beautiful my friends think I am.” And whatnot. I think in this day and age it’s critical to understand it’s really not all about you. And the more ability you have … Not that you don’t want to succeed or be confident. The more ability you have in understanding that your parents can teach you something, your grandparents can teach you something, your teachers can teach you something, and that respect and that empathy is so critical. That empathy is so critical.
Dr Partha Nandi: And I knew that when I was 13 years old and 12 years old. I learned about that. And it’s still true. And it’s very rare now that some people have empathy. In this day and age everybody’s blaming everybody instead of saying, “How could I put myself in their shoes and understand how they’re thinking?” What is their condition that makes them feel that way?” It’s not easy, but I think we can teach our kids that.
Kali Nandi: Did you have another question, Erin?
Dr Partha Nandi: Yeah, two you said.
Erin Taylor: Yes, I had one quick silly little one. What does a typical date night look like? When you guys finally get a chance to go out, just the two of you, what do you talk about?
Dr Partha Nandi: Oh, we never run out of things to talk about.
Kali Nandi: No, there’s not enough hours in the day.
Dr Partha Nandi: We talk about …
Kali Nandi: We talk about pop culture too. We talk about, “Hey did you see that new …” We love hip hop, we love music, we love, “Hey, did you see that new video?” We watch Carpool Karaoke. When we’ve had a really stressful day I’m like, “Okay, there’s a new Carpool Karaoke. We gotta watch it.”
Dr Partha Nandi: We don’t have any rules. People say, “Well, we’re having a date, so we’re not gonna talk about work,” or something else. Q
Kali Nandi: Yeah, we do talk about work.
Dr Partha Nandi: But for us, work is an extension of our lives. So it’s not like work is like, “Ew, that’s so horrible.” Cause people out there hate their job. We don’t. We feel it’s a privilege to be able to be doing what we’re doing every day. But beyond that, I just love her company. She’s a super warm person and she’s extremely kind and super empathetic.
Dr Partha Nandi: And the thing is, the biggest turn on I have is how well she handles herself and the fact that you have … I’ll say it, and it’s a little interesting that you have a person that’s raised in the western world, who an hour and a half ago was helping my sister change my dad. It’s very uncommon. It’s very uncommon.
Dr Partha Nandi: At the end of it, you have both been there. You fall in love and do all that, the excitement, the pangs. We still get that, but then there’s that mature love. The mature love that tells you this is my partner. This is somebody who’s soul is what I love. That you can’t replace. Cause you know, she may get more lines in 20 years, or I may get more lines, but the soul stays beautiful. And that’s what I love about our time together, is that I can experience that soul.
Dr Partha Nandi: Again, we’re not in Utopia, we’re not in a perfect world. Things happen sometimes. We don’t always see eye-to-eye. But at the end of it, the fact that she’s such a beautiful soul, I feel lucky. I feel blessed that I can have that.
Dr Partha Nandi: So on our date nights, I revel in that. Whatever we do, it doesn’t matter if we are in a dive restaurant or in a great restaurant, if there’s music playing or not. Everything of course the ambience helps. But we actually, we love to go to new restaurants. Kali always tries to find new places to go to.
Kali Nandi: I have a list in my phone of all the places we go.
Dr Partha Nandi: Yeah, think about it. She was raised in a town of 15 thousand or something.
Kali Nandi: 10 thousand. It’s small.
Dr Partha Nandi: It’s small, I’d never heard of the town. And a very pretty homogeneous town. And married somebody who is of a different ethnicity. And also even for being this ethnicity I do things very differently. And look at me, I married someone from a town of 10 thousand.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we’re both very different people. And I think that we’re open and adventurous. So we try to do things that are really a lot of fun. When we get the time for anniversaries we love to go to Vegas.
Kali Nandi: Yeah, I was just gonna say, we love Vegas.
Dr Partha Nandi: We love doing Vegas. We hate gambling.
Kali Nandi: Or New York City.
Dr Partha Nandi: We love the shows.
Kali Nandi: We probably would never like buy a cottage on a lake to retire. We’re the type that would get a little apartment in New York or something. We like action. We like to do stuff and be busy.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we don’t have a dearth of stuff. We’re not the couple that are texting other people next to you. Have you seen that. Like, “Oh, how are you?” “I’m good. Let me just use my thumbs.” And they’re next to each other, and they’re talking to other people. That’s not us, because we don’t ever fun out of things to talk about, which is … I hope it never changes.
Kali Nandi: I feel like the business really helps with that. When you infinitely know all the players at work together, it makes it much easier, because it’s a lot of words to say, “Well, Sally at work, she kind of has this personality. And that’s why, when she said this to John, John was extra.” And those are just a lot of words.
Dr Partha Nandi: And she’s a lot of fun. She’s kind of cute.
Kali Nandi: [inaudible 01:00:46] I’ll be like in mom clothes, getting my butt kicked all day long, and I’m like, “Oh.” And he just is flirty and I’m like … He makes it fun.
Dr Partha Nandi: And she laughs at all my jokes.
Kali Nandi: And I think he’s surprisingly sweet talking for a doctor.
Dr Partha Nandi: She says, “surprisingly,” look at that. The knife. Please, if you can reach through your computer and come to the back of my …
Kali Nandi: There’s a knife.
Dr Partha Nandi: There’s a knife in my back. She put it in there, and every time I move, it hurts.
Kali Nandi: Love you.
Sue Decaro: Aww. Well, I can say that our audience, as well as myself, I’m sure you Erin too are just, I don’t want to say impressed, but just feel such warmth in my heart listening to the two of you talk about your love for one another. Your respect, your compassion, and everything. And how you raise your children and live your lives. Because we do know how important that is, and how much we strive for it in our own lives, as well as teach other people. And we don’t have half as much going on, well maybe half as much as you. And we’ve got a business marriage going on as well.
Kali Nandi: Great. We certainly are not perfect. And that’s definitely not a message we want to get across.
Dr Partha Nandi: But the attempt should come across.
Kali Nandi: We have moments, without a doubt.
Sue Decaro: I think it comes across loud and clear.
Dr Partha Nandi: Thank you both for taking the time to do this. It’s a labor of love, and you guys know how hard it is. We know how hard it is to do what you’re doing every single day, because it’s not easy. And you don’t get a bunch of people just telling you, “Here you go. This is how you do it, and here are all the blueprints.” You’re doing it …
Kali Nandi: And then they give you a bunch of money to support your ideas. We understand.
Dr Partha Nandi: So we appreciate you taking the time and making a huge difference on this planet and being what we call a health hero. Cause you guys are doing it every day. So we appreciate you guys both.
Sue Decaro: Thank you.
Erin Taylor: Thank you. So we have our final question that we like to ask all of our guests. Given that we are building connected communities, and this is our passion, bringing people together, we’re curious to know what community means to you guys in your lives.
Kali Nandi: Oh, it’s one of the pillars. Tribe for us.
Dr Partha Nandi: Community and a tribe means so much for us because we’re lucky that our biological family, the people we just happen to be biologically related to, are part of our tribe. And they really help us every day. Including my sister, including my parents, including her parents, including my wife. But I think community in a sense can extend way beyond that. Because it can be our city and our nation and the world and the planet. What we realize is that with the advent of social media, digital media, you can reach people all over the planet, and that be your community.
Dr Partha Nandi: When she said, an important thing, if you listen to her, she said that we want to deliver water in countries that don’t have water. That’s an important goal to us because to me the next revolution of humanity is not in the next computer, the next piece of machinery. But it’s gonna be human, heart, and empathy. Reaching out. When all of a sudden the minds that come together will then say, “If there’s a kid in South America that’s suffering, it’s not their problem, it’s our problem.” And that’s when wars begin to go away. That’s when you don’t have misappropriation of funds or people taking advantage of each other, which is often the real reason we have so much conflict.
Dr Partha Nandi: So I think the next revolution, and it’s really happening. It’s really happening more and more every day. Young people are realizing that we really are not that different from everybody in the planet. So to us, that sense of community is growing and growing. And when it gets to the point we realize that humanity is hashtag humanity, that is our community. That’s when it’s gonna explode. That’s when we take the next leap in our race. It’s not gonna be an industrial revolution or the next computer. It’s gonna be that.
Dr Partha Nandi: So that’s how we think of community. And we now know from scientific evidence, when you have community, when you have a great support system, that you actually tend to do healthy behaviors better.
Kali Nandi: And you love and respect others. Even when they’re failing. Even when they’re doing it wrong. And you’re loving in that and say, “I totally get it. I get how you’re there in that moment. And you’re struggling. And you’re lashing out. And you’re angry. And you stole.” Or whatever. It’s like I totally get you’re human.
Dr Partha Nandi: She’s empathetic.
Kali Nandi: You’re failing. I’m failing. All the time. So I think if we have that empathy with one another versus, “Well I don’t like so and so. And this and that. And they did this, and they did that.” It’s just, okay, you know what? I’ve done a thing, said things I wish I wouldn’t have done and said. They’re doing things I wish they wouldn’t do or say. I’m sure they regret it too. So if we can have acceptance and love in those processes and maybe guide them like we do even our children. “Hey, how could you have handled that different? Why did you hit your brother? Why did you take his toy? I know you’re frustrated.”
Dr Partha Nandi: That happened two hours ago.
Kali Nandi: I get it. I’m frustrated too. Let me talk about it. Maybe we could have handled that in a different way. Let’s practice.
Dr Partha Nandi: We now know that people actually live healthier, longer. Not just longer but with wellness and play with their grandchildren. So to us, community is a huge pillar of health and being your own health hero. That sense of community or tribe can extend from your biological family to your work family and really across the globe. So we’re excited about when that’s really gonna take place. I really do believe that’s the next revolution of humanity.
Kali Nandi: Yeah, I love when you say that.
Dr Partha Nandi: It really is.
Sue Decaro: Beautiful. Very beautiful. Well thank you guys so much for your time today. We really, really appreciated …
Kali Nandi: It was lovely. Thank you for having us.
Sue Decaro: I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with you.
Kali Nandi: Same.
Sue Decaro: Where can people find out more about you? Or connect with you? Or follow you?
Dr Partha Nandi: So our website is ask Doctor Nandi dot com. So A-S-K-D-R-N-A-N-D-I dot com. Or on Facebook.
Kali Nandi: You can find him on all the social media, just with ask Doctor Nandi.
Dr Partha Nandi: So, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter. All of it. Ask Doctor Nandi. And we try to talk about the stuff we just talked about, and make posts about it. And sometimes it’s kind of fun. Sometimes it’s serious. So we enjoy ourselves.
Kali Nandi: And we love hearing from you guys. Gosh, it’s nice to spend an hour with great people like you and then get a message saying, “Hey, I heard you on Connected Communities.” Those kinds of things go a long way.
Dr Partha Nandi: It really does.
Kali Nandi: And it would be great to be able to give that information back. So we always would love to hear from anyone.
Sue Decaro: Wonderful.
Erin Taylor: Fabulous.
Sue Decaro: Thank you so much, both of you.
Kali Nandi: Thank you so much.
Dr Partha Nandi: Thank you.