Human beings have solved many of the world’s difficult problems from deadly disease to landing on the moon. However, human relationships are delicate and complicated. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.
When you are surrounded by relationships that are positive and fulfilling, love seems like a gift. When your relationships get sour, it affects your life and health.
In our modern world, we are constantly connected. Technology and social media allow us to keep in touch, share ideas, and be connected 24/7. Yet, navigating a real relationship can be difficult. Divorce rates are at 40 – 50%. Loneliness is a public health risk. People reporting not having any close friends have tripled in the past 23 years. It is concerning, to say the least.
This is why I invited three experts to learn more about the science of relationships.
Terri Cole is a licensed psychologist, relationship expert, and celebrity coach.
Terri has explained that many of us have limiting beliefs about love. However, you can change your beliefs. Just think about it, an architect that has a blueprint of a house can change this blueprint if it doesn’t work. You can change your blueprint about love and relationships.
Awareness of these beliefs is the first step to change. These beliefs come from culture, society, our upbringing and so on. Often they are in our subconscious, yet they directly affect your relationships. Many women have been raised, for example, to be selfless, to be connectors and givers. They may deny what they want or allow a man to be in a powerful position over them within their relationships. Insecurity, jealousy, and pain often begin to play a big role in relationships due to these limiting beliefs. Once you are self-aware of your limiting beliefs and how they affect you and your relationships, you can start letting go and change.
Wendy Darling is a business and life transformation expert. She knows relationships can struggle. After accidents and months of surgeries, her husband, instead of supporting her, filed for divorce. Wendy has found meaning in serving her clients and has a fantastic relationship with her son.
She believes that the 3 L-s are the key to a happy, fulfilling, and successful life. “Live” is first, which is basically about your values and how to live through them. “Love” is second, the most impactful ingredient of a happy life. “Lead” is the third L that is all about making a difference in the one and only way you can.
Wendy talked about relationship dynamics in the workplace. It is important to give people a safe place and encourage them to express ideas and thoughts. Trusting that people want to do good work, respect and communication are all key.
Dr. Kim Logan is an author of five books and is well-respected for her relationship advice.
Kim is a huge advocate for marriage counseling and therapy in general. She believes that it is beneficial if the couple is in therapy together, as well as separately. She has explained that trust is crucial in any relationship. Instead of jumping into something, it is important to understand yourself and to get to know the other person. Though more and more are afraid of it, commitment is key. Don’t sleep in separate bedrooms and become glorified roommates. Talk about things with each other and your children. Along with commitment, communication is key. Marriage takes true tenacity and work. You can learn communication skills, such as listening skills in therapy for example that can enhance your relationship. Be open and honest, listen, and trust. Lastly, understanding yourself, loving yourself, and being at peace with yourself is a necessary building stone.
From listening to my guests on the show and from my own experience in my own marriage, I have learned that being open to continuous learning is essential to any relationship. Trust, commitment, respect, boundaries, self-love, self-awareness, listening skills, and communication skills are all fundamental to a happy relationship.
I hope you’ve found this information helpful. If you have any questions or comments, please, share them in the comments section, we would love to hear from you. We would love to hear the best lessons you’ve learned from your own relationships.